she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
