I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
