The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
