this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
