I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
