So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
BRING THE BAGELS
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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