I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
