i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
