who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
