So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
