i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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