Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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