By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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