Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
