We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
