i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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