i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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