I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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