nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize