Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
