I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
