Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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