So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
