i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
