matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
