I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
