The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sobbing to NWA
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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