my phone needs a breathalizer
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize