Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize