I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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