You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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