honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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