Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
