fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pants are for mortals
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
