Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize