I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
