there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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