you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
