think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
