i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize