Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
