I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
