Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
