she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
