So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
