Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
im on a boat
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