Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
