he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
my liver is dry heaving
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
