Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
