Your face is a jimmy john
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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