He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize