Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
