Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
