how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize