oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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