i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
