if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
