yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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