I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
