I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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