I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
