how can u be prego again
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize