The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
