But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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