I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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