my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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