party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
