what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
