My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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