sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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