In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
