I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
