I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
