Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
