is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
