What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
