i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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