Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Randomize
