I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
wow bdsm is so cute
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
